headache
3:49 PM
I have the kind of headache that makes your teeth clench and your eyes water.
and I get a bloody nose every other day.
the doctor said that vaseline has all the answers
it can't be that easy.
Can it?
Tell me I'm not a hypochondriac when my dad randomly decides to have our whole family checked for diabetes. Maybe it was my little brother and the 15 pounds of Halloween candy he got. Or maybe he's just as paranoid as I am.
Either way I've still got a headache.
I'm writing papers on subjects I know nothing about and failing the quizzes that are supposed to be easy.
I'm studying for hours on end and I've got nothing to show for it.
"Welcome to college" they say.
"It'll be fun" they say.
There's nothing taped to the fridge anymore and there's no food inside either.
I'm sick of all the "you'll get the hang of it" pep talks from freshman only enrolled in elective classes
Failure.
The feelings a little unfamiliar and I don't think I'm handling it well.
I have the kind of headache that makes your teeth clench and your eyes water.
And a shortness of breath when I walk through south campus at 2:58 pm.
And it's not because the air is becoming more and more like the tips of your 5th grade hair.
(and it is)
I've always been afraid to say how I feel so maybe that's why I have trouble standing up for myself. And it's taken 2 friendships and a trip across the country for me to realize that.
but its almost okay because now I'm scrambling to find a muted flowering currant colored dress and spending more and more time at home trying to get far away, but right now far is just a little too close.
I have the kind of headache, heartache that makes your muscles weak and your head cloudy.
I have the kind of headache, heartache that makes your muscles weak and your head cloudy.
Because he's half way across the world playing the piano and I can still hear it.
2 comments
This is beautiful Han. I love it.
ReplyDeleteAlso the frosted tips line.. Dying.
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