numb
9:41 PMIt's early November and I can't feel my hands, my toes, my face,
or my heart.
and to be honest, I don't really think it's hit me that you're gone. the drives, the almost handshakes, and the eye contact from opposite sides of the commons. it's gone but I can't feel it.
I can't feel it.
I almost wish the emotions would come flooding in so I can just be done with it.
with you.
human nature is what's keeping my eyes from closing every night because I can't stop asking why.
I tried to warm my heart with caramel apple cider and a long drive but I think it made it worse. and the deafening silence that follows each song only made me want you more.
The biting chill of the early winter breeze and the piercing sound of nothing made me realize that I was the lone in lonely.
I didn't let myself think about it too long because it gave me a headache.
the kind of headache that makes your teeth clench and your eyes water.
and I promise it was from the migrane and not from you.
because really, there's been no tears or trace of sadness.
and I'm mad that I'm not mad.
Because this kind of numb can't be healed by apple cider.
And I'm still trying to find the good in GOODbye.
10 comments
i have that kind of headache right now. i tried eating something but it didn't do get the job done
ReplyDelete"and I'm mad that I'm not mad"
"human nature is what's keeping my eyes from closing every night because I can't stop asking why."
ReplyDeleteLove love love
"And I'm still trying to find the good in GOODbye."
ReplyDeleteCarina you've done it again, killed it.
Wait this is probably my new favorite post of the year. I can relate so much. I want to steal every line in this. Oh my gosh.
ReplyDelete"the drives, the almost handshakes, and the eye contact from opposite sides of the commons." yes yes yes.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteagreed.
Delete"The biting chill of the early winter breeze and the piercing sound of nothing made me realize that I was the lone in lonely."
ReplyDeleteSums up winter and why it's not my favorite.
"and I'm mad that I'm not mad."
ReplyDeleteThis has been me all week but with various emotions.
This is real and this is good and this is fragile but sometimes that's the loveliest way to write.
ReplyDelete